joicydoodle♥: Starting Ugly

I moved to Sydney almost 2 months ago because I decided to pursue a long- overdue personal goal to be a qualified vocational teacher in Australia, it entailed going back to school for 3 years full time to garner all of the qualifications (it's a tedious pursuit- Certificate IV in Commercial Cookery, Certificate IV in Patisserie, graduate school, and Certificate IV in Training and Assessment) while working part time, I'm halfway-ish into the run and somewhere along I parked the dream that one day I can be a recipe contributor to the glossy magazines I devour reading.

Moving also entailed beginning again and giving up important commitments back home. I left the business I started and poured hard work, and I had to take packing seriously in a sense that I was moving to another continent for good. Life led me to few detours ,few more right turns, and now with more clarity that all I wanted to be is indeed, a home maker on top of my many hats.

I read somewhere that you don’t need to always monetise your hobbies and passion, somehow it rings true to me…it doesn’t always have to be bright lights, hustle and bustle, and money... or career-wise, it doesn't always have to be Michelin stars or hatted, five star, or 100k followers that mark one's success or stability. You can still pursue what you love, be whatever you want even behind the picket fence, or even just for your own liking, or in my case while nestled at the silly hills of Hornsbyshire. Being away from friends and family, there are two things that keep my sanity afloat —James, and cooking at home, and writing (actually, it's three).

It took me almost 5 years to return onshore. The waiting was very challenging, and so as the changes. Starting a new chapter can be terrifying and worrisome especially when you are beginning from a fresh ground may it be going back to school, or moving to another country, or getting married or getting a new hobby such as establishing a vlog, or reviving a recipe blog… or all of the above. There is no need to mention pandemic so I put it last..I pick up few things while treading one step at a time, I cannot emphasise how taking your own time is so important. When all of these changes take up your mental space and pushes you to make big and life shaping decisions, it matters to take the walk at your own pace.

And you know what else is important? the small steps that eventually lead to the big steps. For me it’s as simple a watering my dead herbs hoping that one day they will flourish into a healthy herb garden, and keeping a vision board filled with random photos ranging from flowers, desserts, coffee a page from a good book, my feet, and my favorite socks because I was thinking doing so will keep me inspired, and my dream to have a flower shop with a tiny bakery vivid, and more essentially, keeping it makes me happy...When the days are overwhelming, doing what you can, and doing something small is more than enough, sometimes doing nothing keeps me sane and balanced.

James asked me the other day "What would you do if you get into a midlife crisis?" I answered I'll open a floristry with a bakery, while he answered he will venture into cheese, when I followed up with "what kind of cheese?" he replied "The Good Kind of Cheese", and I'm assuming it's the tentative name for now.

In the words of a great teacher and friend, Chef Colin Roche "start ugly"... it's always the beginning and the arduous process of starting fresh that seems scary, inert, and slow but soon you'll realise few months later, a year later, and years later that not only time passed, Soon after the uncomfortable growth, you will make it and you will be proud of yourself for taking the big leap. Few weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to share business insights among young and talented students in the spectrum, and the light bulb moment for me was the concept of “trusting your own season”.. It may resonate differently from person to person, or business to business…perhaps it's a season of slow sale, or first week of the semester... all I know is anything that you pour hard work, time, and patience in essence always yield into a bountiful result.