8 months in Sydney, 1 year of being Solo

Last year, I decided to start a series of solo wanderlust, to go on expedition towards self-discovery. I went to Northern Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao, then Bangkok, then Seoul, then Jeju, and then my longest stop, I am on my 8^th month in Sydney, and hit a year of being solo, away from comfort of family, home, and friends.

A lot of times I still asks myself if I made a right choice for leaving home, my comfort zone, the food, and everyone I love in exchange of a foreign city, no security, no one else but myself and 90 plus kilo of baggage.

If you wonder how a 24 year old, orphan, is able to live up with all the living costs of studying in Sydney, I have few lessons to live by:

1.     There is No substitute other than experience.

In my country I never had the difficulty to land a job, I always get the calls or offer for new jobs. When I get to Sydney, I applied for over 700 jobs, No kidding, to have a part time job that pays right, legally, while I study for a degree. I remember I cried hard when I got a letter of offer from my current job, because I can finally stop sending CV’s to whole Sydney.

How broad is “Experience” when we define it? I would say zero. I never waited tables before nor cleaned someone else’s bathroom. But one day I did. I remember I cried that day, the first time I sulked up my pride and did odd jobs. After crying I bought myself coffee and a slice of my favourite cake, it tasted like sweet victory, because it was a milestone. I’m proud that I tried.

And I learned in that particular moment that I have something capable of doing- standing on my own. I can just pack up and lobby on the streets and shelter at Central station at night, skimp my solid 90 kg belongings, beg for change, and stop worrying about rent. There was one time I was so fed up with myself and started walking aimlessly, among the common sightings in Sydney are insane people, and the homeless. Sometimes they are genuinely in need, which society tells us it is our moral duty to help them, and then there are some like this young, Caucasian man outside Wynyard station, who seems fit, and capable of working, but decided he won’t.  He was on his knees begging the world for loose change.

That very moment I irked to myself “See that my friend? That is who you will never be”. I will never give up on myself, or my dreams and just depend on loose change. Because the whole World is around you, we are supposed to catch up, It was the laziest of laziest I ever laid my eyes on.

It taught me the value of money, working for each penny, spending, and what’s not worth damaging your humane pride; low life stealing, dishonesty, and slacking off.

2.     Humility is the key to learning.

People will never be bothered wherever Culinary school you graduated from, or who’s ass you kissed before. You are the new kid, you adapt to the rules, you say “Yes, Chef!” because the cold truth is there was never a “No, Chef!”.

And even though you have your own skills, and talent, you are the kid, the commis, you are nobody but a machine. Then you learn Humility is a phase when you learn the most because that’s when they, your chefs, will teach you the most.

3.Winter doesn’t always mean snowman, snowballs, and snow skiing. This is self-explanatory when you live in New South Wales. No snow during winter, just the fatal, winter breeze, as cold as your ex.

4.     It is normal to worry.

I am a worrier. I worry about my money. I worry about my homework. I worry about someone else’s laundry. I even worry about alone elders crossing the streets.

Have you ever tried not worrying even just for 30 mins? It’s such a great mental exercise I recommend to everyone. Just stop giving cares. I do it at times when the anxiety is hitting me hard.  I recall one of my favourite life lessons through the literary works of Elizabeth Gilbert is “Be Kind To Yourself”. So if you do, try to lessen your unnecessary worrying. Worrying is a thief of peace, sleep, time, who-knows-maybe cupcake, too.

I only worry on selective matters such as lip-gloss, eyebrows, and water intake, not even my laundry pile anymore. There is a time for worry, and there is time for sleep.

5.     Work. Life. Balance

Every university student is entitled to 20-hour work right per week. That means, you spend 2-3 days working, 2 days in school, other days depends on how you manage it. Sweet isn’t?

I was diagnosed of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome after a month in Sydney. They say my invisible illness has no certain medication, while some say it is treatable. I don’t really know. I never prayed for healing. But I pray everyday for courage. Because courage is when you wake up in the morning feeling like a truck just hit you, or when the beast on your chest is wild and hungry, and about to eat you. I pray for the courage to find peace, positivity, and something to look forward everyday.

I couldn’t work straight like a full timer. I will be drowsed with flu for days, or I will be in deep stress.

6.     It’s okay to be a cheapskate.

You rather skimp your meals and buy that lip-gloss. I can relate. Or get that chocolate...coz why not

7.     Invest on your self.

Invest. I’m not good at investing money. I’m a business student and honestly not my forte to dwell on numbers or technical terms. I would define “Invest” as to planting seeds of good and harvesting lessons in the future.

It is not limited to money. When we invest our time to make a long-distance call, we know it is a time and long distance credit well spent.  When we buy luxury bags, we know we invest on Fashion, long term ownership of  classic pieces.

I invested my 24^th year of existence to learning more about myself. I went back to school. I used my parent’s last sum of money for me, packed all my irreplaceable belongings, and spent an 8 hour flight crying coz I’m a cry baby.

It wasn’t easy to be away from everyone. You get chills, homesickness, hunger, and exhaustion from working and studying. Sometimes I wonder, I mean a lot of times, “Am I making my late parents proud?”.  I’m too scared to find out that it's a No, so instead whenever I remember that question; I change it to “What Will You Tell Your 24 Year Old Self”.

If I’m in a time capsule maybe I’d say “Go buy that black jacket at Myers. It will be sold out next week, or sale will end and you will cry whole winter for missing the good leather jacket deal”. Or maybe I’d say, Look forward, and look up, and you’ll know the answer.

8.     The world is a big school

9.     No matter how old you get, one day will come when you long for home.

You start missing the chaos that used to be your pet peeve. You start to crave foods you used to find unappetizing. You miss the smell of your dirty house. You miss the nuisance, the clutter, because you get so used to being alone...that you crave company. Independent people also need to be reminded how are they doing. They also need to slow down, building yourself is a mature responsibility... Then you learn that 'Home' is a feeling. I may be oceans apart, but being away made me realized I have a home at the other end of this foreign land, that will embrace me back if I decided to go back. Being away made me appreciate the home and family I didn't showed much affection and myself to.

10.  You learn more about yourself- isn’t that the point?

You stretch yourself to the limits, you expose yourself to stress, to responsibilities, you bait yourself to failure.

I know time will come that I will savour this age when I had the wonderful gift of a lifetime to learn about myself. To be a commis of life before marrying or having kids. I'm grateful for the wisdom that each pain I feel is teaching me. I'm grateful for the confusion and doubts because it reminds me I'm learning something alien to me. I'm grateful for the courage, it reminds me that no dreams are invalid or too small. You just need to put yourself together and "allez!"

I'm grateful for the good and bad experiences. I learned that rejections are redirections. If you are reading this, you still have no job at the moment. I applied for 700 jobs. I hope that's something to push your hopes.

I also learned that pain is a great teacher. We learn much more when we are in pain. Like 'acceptance', 'submission', and 'hopefulness'. When else do we learn those?

Not certain until when will I keep on my self discovery. Maybe I will keep moving to different cities and countries. But what I'm certain is if we believe with utmost hope, we are limitless.

One day I will read this post again and compare my current rate per hour, skills, number of scars, waistline, bank account to that of the future. There will be lots of changes maybe even with my priorities. I hope to be full of wisdom, become a better chef, better friend, better sister.

My name is Joyce Calayag. 24. Orphan at 12, and youngest of 8 children. I’m a Business management student in Sydney, aspiring Pastry Chef-Cook Book Author. I am learning, and this is to remind myself to keep trying to be better. You will get there, Brave Heart.

Wander Post: 24 Things I Learned When I Hit 24 While Travelling

I am back in Manila at the moment! Few months ago, I booked myself to a 50 plus days of Wanderlust, And so after my series of brief travelling, around and about, This is the part where I ask myself “Did you learn anything?” hmmm…

I turned 24 last June. Well, I am a legit adult now. At some point  the ageing is hard to swallow as you realize you got bills to pay and career to grow, and oh, all your friends are either engaged or expecting! Or some are budding careers in their own fields.  My aspirations are not conventional. I understand as an aspiring pastry chef-author, that I will take a long time getting there, and there are frustrations in between. I remember that I confronted myself one night, staring blankly on my bright Tangerine bedroom wall, if Am I ugly? Am I stupid? Am I a jinx? All sorts of Am I Shit questions… what is the term? Mid-life Crisis? Or Quarter life Crisis? Whatever! 

Through and through I been asking my dead parents, “Pa, what to do?” “Mom, I got this, don’t I?” My parents are both wanderfeet. But since they produced a huge brood of 8, none of my siblings, neither me, the favorite, had to travel with them. My parents traveled light, cheap, together across Asia and United States. They were supposed to visit Sydney when my mom suddenly passed away. But my old chap didn’t stop wandering. There was a time he was en route to Seoul when I begged to go with him. In subtle voice he insisted “One day you will get older, you have all your future to go places. I was old when I started travelling, you are young, and you will get to travel further than Mom and I, but first be patient”.

Few months before my birth day I realized my Pap is right with the “Learn to wait for you turn” value in life. We are too occupied with superficial goals in life, too focused on achieving the timeline  when we could get everything we want, so fast that we forget to look around us and appreciate the moment we live in.

Soon after I got my trust fund, I didn’t hesitate to explore outside my comfort blanket. I decided to go; to maximize the trip in every destination. I am a cheap tourist. I visited places with some locals that I personally know, to couch surf and to guide me with the dialect, eats and the ride. There also parts of my trip when I didn’t plan at all and let my friends do all the arrangements, be spontaneous and hop on adventure.

They say people travel alone when they are sad and lost in search of self, peace and healing. I was depressed and needed to self preserve but then, not everyone who wanders are lost, sometimes they are also found, sometimes they just need the kick of exploration. There are many first times in this Wanderlust. A lot of getting lost, a lot of walking, a lot of almost missed the plane, a lot of over eating. I rekindled long time friendships, I met new friends, I gained weight, but most importantly at the end of my Wanderlost, I learned a lot. If ever I am a lost girl before I packed my stuff, I am certain I came home with so many stories to spill. If ever I was sad when I booked flights, I came home missed by friends and my family. This is the best Birth day gift I ever had, yet. The Capacity to live the moment, I am beyond words grateful to the Lord.

I dedicate this post to my parents, wherever you are, I spent my money well, and I know you are so proud. Did you see me in the pump boat? Mom, I looked cute in Hanbok noh? Oh my god, I was so scared when I cliff dive, I cried with awe during the zip line. I was the youngest in the baking class again! I braved the MERSCOV scare. I missed you.

For my first Wanderlust, my first destinations are Cebu, Agusan del Norte, Surigao del Norte, Bangkok, Seoul and Jeju Islands.

1.It’s okay to get lost: Since I haven’t taken airplanes alone before, I got lost a lot starting in the Airport. I’m ashamed but I’ve been paged about 3 times in all (Cebu, Thailand and Butuan) as the last passenger before the gates.

In Bangkok, I took the courage to take trains from Airport to my hotel. The Thai Airport lady said the Makkasan station is the third station and from there I need to move to subway and alight in Sukhumvit. I alighted the train at the third stop when the Thai Metro Lady Guard wondered Why The Heck This Kid Alighted Where No One Alights. In Bangkok, Third stop didn’t mean third station as the Makkasan station is about 6-9 stops away. #KKLK.

I was strolling for 2 and half hours in Sukhumvit District before I finally gave up and took the cab to my hotel in Ekkamai Soi 26. #KKLK.

2. It’s okay to over eat: When I came to Cebu I ate pork every day or fried food every day. How can you not? In Butuan I ate lavishly regional Filipino dishes. In Surigao, I ate the freshest seafood. In Bangkok I ate every single thing my eyes see. In South Korea, I ate the best kimchi and Hanwoo beef. Isn’t the point?

Ginabot at Sampaguita, Cebu City

Very handy. It's difficult to locate a food stall because business signages are usually in Thai writings. Those included in this book are blocks to districts apart. Walking to Soi 38 from Ekkamai- Sukhumvit 63 Road is atleast 45 minutes, you can take taxi, sure. But the fun is in discovering the gems that are not in the map. 

Example,I discovered a place in Ekkamai Soi 15 that is better than the one in Soi 38. And the rice cakes not sold in stalls in Soi 38 or Soi 63 but only in Sukhumvit Road near Emporium. All I wont find if I ride the taxi.

3. It’s okay to be scared but it feels much better when you stop being scared and just live in the moment: I had always been the Safe Girl. I don’t know a lot of things as simple as biking. I was always too scared. I took the guts to try the Asia’s Second Longest Zipline. (Formerly the First Longest Zipline). I am scared. I decided not to record the zip line trip. I was screaming, then the screaming slowly stopped, tears falling as I feel the cold wind against my weight. The Butuan City nature is vivid green, amazing huge clouds, and wonderful sunset. It was about 2 minutes of Holy Shit and Holy Grail.

Delta Discovery Park,Butuan City, Agusan del Norte

Asia's Second Longest Zip Line

4. It’s okay to talk to strangers:

The point of my traveling solo is to come across stories, new ideas, and meet new friends. Day 1 in Bangkok, I guess getting lost sometimes really takes us somewhere, I met Som and Praw today, equally pretty, both half Thai, half Chinese..who together with their boyfriends opened a coffee shop 2 months ago.

Would you believe they're just 22-24 year olds, and as of now, they already garnered their return of investment. 

I must say the coffee place is nice, cozy and fresh. 

Kaizen Coffee Co., Ekkamai, Sukhumvit

I always get mistaken as a local in Thailand because Filipinos and Thais share the South East Asian features. I came to Siriraj  Medical Museum in Bangkok, which on my way back I realize is located at the opposite end from my Hotel. Since it’s far, no cab is taking me. Almost sunset and raining, I wanted to cry.And then finally, someone offered to help me. He said No twice, then he maybe realized How Messed Up This Asian Face Would Be Coz It's Almost Sunset, he signaled that I get in the car.

Sak: (I have a) friend.. speak English. (Let me call him)

He took me to the BTS Phaya Thai station that passes through the Sukhumvit line. taught me how to never again walk 3 stations by exiting at Ekkamai Station instead of Sukhumvit Station.

"my name is Sak. You are brave (for coming alone)

Me: I thought Bangkok is just a small city

5. It's alright to visit an isolated community, disconnect and pause fast phase city life:

Baranngay Cantiasay, Nonoc Island, Surigao del Norte

Sayagbanog Island, Surigao del Norte

6. It’s okay to think that you can over power your allergies: I’m allergic to Shellfish, Squid and Shrimp. It’s either I will get rash or get upset stomach the next day. I braved my allergy with anti-histamine, the itch hack. But I haven’t figured the LBM hack yet. God help me. I think I had diarrhea for total of 4 times in all.  

Our Own Seafood Boodle In Sayagbanog Island

7. You have irrational fear of heights, and you took airplane alone, it's alright.

8.  To show compassion in your own little way:

I noticed him approach the cashier, with his few English to ask permission to the Logos Hope staff if he could copy the writings of the book. It's heart wrecking. Books are supposed to be a privilege of everyone, and though it's a bookstore en cruise, they let him copy it. We bet he will ask someone to translate the writings for him...the ship is closing in 10 minutes. I had to step up.

A tiny act of kindness; I cant help doing nothing. I decided to pay the book and give the old man. Not for anything but I knew at that moment I came in there for something or for someone else

Logos Hope, Pier One, Port of Cebu

I learned it well on my flight back to Manila. I was carrying a cake box with baked products we made from class, I decided to bring it home to force feed my nephews. And since the airport is quite a walk, after temperature changes, tossing and all, all the cakes messed up and melted.

Almost midnight and falling hungry after a long day of walking, I thought of cram eating all the cakes than bringing it with me, it won't last anymore after all.

After few bites, I resigned and decided to find a trash bin. I handed the box to a cleaning lady so she could segregate the box, cake board and food waste, she gestured in Thai if she could have it. I'm so ashamed because she might misintepret that I'm feeding her with garbage.

She kept on smiling at me, took an empty lunch box and transferred the messed up cakes. I can't take it. I tried looking for anything in my hand carry (and it's all stupid Pocky boxes and Macarons) I walked towards her from my table and explained while showing her a pretty Macaron box "This is clean, I halved it but it's clean". The lady said "for me?" As I was walking away she cried. And I cried too.

When was the last time you made someone teary out of happiness that it made you cry too?

9.  You have irrational fear of Ocean water and you took a dive, you took a pump boat and Island hopped:

Olango Island, Cebu

Dinagat Island, Surigao del Norte

10. It’s okay to couch surf. It’s okay to join a group of strangers, and gain new friends:

Dinagat Island, Surigao del Norte

Nineng, Nica, Me, Red, Chelsea, Renz and Maritz
Sayagbanog Island, Surigao del Norte

11. It's okay to look funny and crazy, go channel your over all inner tourist: most importantly, be creative, be resourceful and at the end feel happy.

My Improvised Tripod

Siriraj, Bangkok

12. It’s okay to travel light and to travel heavy: Don't worry about over packing. If you want to dress up during your trip, go ahead Princess, go ahead! what matters is pack your basics, and then pack your fashion 101 items. Yes, travel light, know the weather in your destination, you won't need heavy fur coat in Bangkok! Plan your #OOTD, too. and oh, save space for shopping!

I carried 18 kg though, I didn't wear all my packed clothes but I dressed happy and pretty for selfies and tourist poses! My basics are; water proof back pack, water proof sling bag, pretty small bag, flip-flops, beanie, a pretty hat, sunnies, 2 sets of black leggings, black sweater, running shoes and jelly flats.

13. It’s okay to be careful of your choices:

14. It’s okay to ride a motorbike, and you never did before:

Tops, Cebu

15. To enrich your passion; never be shy to ask questions.

It's not everyday that you get to meet a very accomplished man, yet very humble, Chef Eric Perez

Macaron Pastry Training Center, Bangkok

16. To make a different kind of investments: new iPhone is an investment, but so as making “Time”. Travelling is an investment. Going back to school is an investment. Buying a branded bag is an investment, but so as calling loved ones while away is. Taking beautiful photos is an investment. Don't mind people who will tell you can find photos of everything in Google, capture it my friend, take personal experience out of everything God has graced around you. One day, you will look back at the photos and say, at this particular day, you traveled  and never seen anything like it...

The majestic Reclining Buddha of Wat Pho;  is so huge and gold 

Beyond photos beautiful. Dinagat Island, Surigao del Norte

The first peacock I saw in person. I got teary when I saw this peacock upclosed, she is so pretty.

Emporium, Bangkok

17. You will miss home, just be creative on how you  say You Are Okay While Away. You will get sickly and you will be okay: avoid calling home sick to make loved ones worried. Instead, send them your hard taken photos.

How Far Can Your Selfie Stick Take You? Using your front camera, find your angle, set Self Timer for 10 seconds, balance your Monopod against the corner of a window, press click and run.

0.5 second Self Timer. Sarryy

18. You can do your laundry in your small hotel room: Some places don't have nearby laundry shop. Not all hotels have laundry services, too. Be a big girl and buy a detergent pack, use the bath tub, hang it dry and when all the water has dripped... waste time blow drying your clothes while watching NatGeo. 

Dry or Die

19. You will meet a lot of people...and it's okay to be picky to whom you will give chances: for some reason, women who travel alone is somehow attractive. It's okay to go on self preservation. If your purpose of travelling is self exploration, It's okay to take time before you give chances.

20. You will gain weight. Don’t panic: Just be cute and pose wacky in photos

Hongdae, Seoul

21. Be Polite; on varied culture and customs, always be respectful.

Elder Koreans helped me fix my improper knot and it was a high light of my day

I been told no one wears the Hanbok in public anymore, but I simply wanted to experience it and though I look strange, Korean elders and youngsters thanked me, commended my persistence as I walk across the Gung and Insadong, for a tourist, It is my way to say I wanted to captivate your culture and please let me.

22. Skype!

23. You are not obligated to shop souvenirs and gifts but hoard the good stuff

24. The World Is Ahead of You.

At the end of so many wanderlust and chasings, and even at every beginning, Home is where we find our feet rested, where we lay happy and inspired. Where heart aches are welcome like guests and every trying is celebrated as stepping stone. Home is where family and friends occupy the in tangent space, which we also call the Empty Void. I am home. I will always be home. But the World is ahead of me, I been told. I am off to 24 months of Wanderlust; Australia. Next is Wanderlust; Europe. All In God’s time, grace and blessing.

I would like to thank the beautiful people who graced and completed my 50 days plus of Wanderlust, though I opt to write individual entries per destination, I just want to take this special entry and say my out-most gratitude:

Joime and Roy Chan

Macapagal Family

MJ and Mother Jules

Maritz, Auntie and Dorico Family

Chelsea, Nineng, Fred, Nica and Renz

Heng Wook Youn

Chef Eric Perez

Som, Praw, Kaizen Coffee Co.

Nan Ng

Sak

Chanrit

Mae and Anton

BRB,